Funny sayings about children being smart

by Anon

My husbands says that our children have my brains because he still has his.

and here are a few more sayings from kids and teens...

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

On the other hand... you have different fingers.

I just got lost in thought... it was unfamiliar territory.

Some days you're the dog, and some days you're the firehydrant.

I keep hitting "escape", but I'm still here.

I just read that YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook are merging. It'll be called You-Twit-Face.

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

A vasectomy means never having to say you're sorry.

I have a drinking problem... I can't afford it.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

I may not always be right, but I am never wrong.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

Not being able to iron out all of his problems made the dry cleaner very depressed.

Don't tell me the sky is the limit when we've put footprints on the moon.

I just read that YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook are merging. It'll be called You-Twit-Face.

Politicians and diapers need to be changed regularly, usually for the same reason.

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened before, small stains.

A fool is a 37th floor window washer who steps backs to see his handiwork.

I tried to put my head together but now my body is falling apart.

I like to reminisce with people I don't know.

A penny saved is a government oversight.

I can resist everything except temptation.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement .

If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame it on.

The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he is really in trouble.

Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs.'

Going to church no more makes you a Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it is called golf.

I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen.

A friend in need is a pest indeed.

Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.

When everything comes your way you are in the wrong lane.

The light at the end of the tunnel may be an oncoming train..

My parents were born free and taxed to death.

Whether you think you can or can't, you're right.

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.

Smile, it makes people wonder what you are up-to.

If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you wll have trouble putting on your pants.

It is not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.

The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.

In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?

If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?

My dad should beat the 5 o'clock rush and leave work at noon!

If you can't convince them, confuse them..

It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.

My dad said he couldn't repair my brakes, so he made my horn louder!

The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.

Someday is not a day of the week.

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

My dad found out that to err is human, to forgive is not Company Policy.

The road to success..... Is always under construction.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

My mom says alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does milk.

In order to get a loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.

All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, fattening or married to someone else.

If ignorance is bliss, then I must be the happiest thingamajig in the whatyamacallit!

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

Silence is golden... duck tape is silver.

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Hilarious
by: Asantis

These are some very funny saying and I did not expect them to be this funny. I would like to say that keep up the good work and keep posting such hilarious stuff.

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Really cool
by: Loftus

I wish more authors of this type of content would take the time you did to research and write so well. I am very impressed with your vision and insight. You did a great job and thanks for sharing.

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