10 Very Funny Blonde Jokes

by Mia Lambo
(Victoria)

Short funny blonde jokes

Short funny blonde jokes

10 Crazy funny blonde jokes that will make you snort when you laugh.

Right, I am a blonde and I found these blond jokes very funny, I guess it's a matter of "if the shoe fits, wear it, but don't have a fit". So, if you are overly sensitive about your blonde locks, do NOT read on. Blond jokes have been around forever, they are not going away, maybe it's time to consider a different shade or make peace with these sometimes unloving, quirky, silly forms of amusement, if they stir up the fire within.

~1~


Question: How did the blonde break her leg while raking leaves??

Answer: She fell out of the tree

~2~


Blonde 1: Don't tell anyone but Bees scare me.
Blonde 2: Don't worry, the whole alphabet scares me.

~3~


I'm changing my name to {Benefits} on Facebook.
Next time someone adds me, It will say 'you are now friends with {Benefits}'

~4~


Why can't you tell blondes knock-knock jokes?

Answer: Because they go answer the door.

~5~


What do you call an intelligent blond?

Answer: A Golden Retriever

~6~


Why can't a blonde dial 911?

Answer: She can't find the eleven

~7~


Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England?

Answer: She found out Big Ben was a clock

~8~


What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?

Answer: They are both empty from the neck up

~9~


Why couldn't the blonde make Kool-Aid?

Answer: The 8 cups of water didn't fit into that little packet

~10~


Why did the blonde lose at breast stroke in the swimming competition?

Answer: She later learned, other swimmers were cheating, they were using their arms!!!

~Bonus 11~


Why did the blonde wear green lipstick?

Answer: She knew that red meant STOP!





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starstarstarstarstar 		Correction to Blond and blonde
by: Anonymous

Blond may refer to male as spelled, blonde may refer to female as mentioned but the answers to 10,11 are referring to a female (Blonde) it says "She" at the beginning.


From: The Fun Team

Thank you very much, corrected those!

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starstarstarstarstar 		More Blonde Jokes
by: Ethan

There are three women, a brunette, a redhead, and a blond. They are all in Hell. Satan tells them that there is a staircase with 100 steps. On each step there is a joke, and if you laugh on the joke, you go to Hell. If you make it to the top, you go to Heaven.

The brunette goes up to the first step, laughs, and goes to Hell. The redhead makes it to the fifteenth step, then laughs, and goes to Hell. The blonde goes up to the ninety-ninth step, and laughs. Satan asks her, "Why did you laugh? You were so close!". The blonde says, "I just got the first joke."
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Blond - Blonde - Blondes
by: Ayande

I think you spelled "blond" wrong, it is "blonde".

Hey Ayande,
We are always grateful when readers point out grammar/spelling mistakes, they do happen!

In this case however:

Blond / Blonde: A word from French origin.

Blond - refers to a male blond person
Blonde - refers to a female blonde person
Blondes - are plural

Update:

These blonde jokes were submitted by one of our readers. Another reader pointed out that there were two spelling mistakes further down the page, so thank you, they are corrected now.
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Blond Jokes
by: Amalia

Hahaha! Here are some more blond jokes:

A blonde went to buy pizza, after ordering the assistant asks the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into 6 or 12 pieces. "Six please" she said "I could never eat twelve pieces".

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."

Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?"
Brunette: "I don’t know."
Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!"

A guy was driving in his car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window to see if the indicator worked. She stuck her head out and said, "Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes...

11 people are hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

Enjoy! It's on me: I am blonde hahaha!
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Do NOT remove the blond jokes
by: Marian

I am just responding to your email request "To my readers, do you think this post from another contributor should be removed, do you find it insulting/derogatory."

From my side: A definite NO

I love all of your content and especially all the funny jokes and funny sayings. I am at a point that when I receive an email and it mentions "funny" or "prank" or "template" or "party" I know it is a must read!

No need to remove, I am slightly blonde - blonde streaks by the way.

Keep on keeping on, we love your site!
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Good Laugh
by: Delilah

Hey I am blonde too! I can take it, because I know "blond" is just a kind term for "not so sharp" and it has very little to do with the actual hair color!

I had a super good laugh! Thanks

Just for good measure, my fav blond joke:

There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, "I've had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. I memorized all the state capitals." One of the guys, of course, said, "I don't believe you". What is the capital of Nevada?
"It's N", she answered.
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Blondes at the bar
by: Humor The Blondes

So 17 blondes where standing outside a bar on a Friday night. A girl came out and said "You guys know you can come in?"
They looked at the girl then looked at the sign. It read 'Must Be 18'.
So they went around town looking for one more blonde, when they came back they went inside and the boss came over. "DID YOU READ THE SIGN!!!!" His voice boomed.
They looked at him funny. "Uh... Yeah it said 'Must Be 18' and there's 18 of us."
The boss left and the blondes went back inside.
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Hilarious Blonde Joke
by: Anonymous

*A blonde lady was caught for speeding by a blonde policewoman*.
Policewoman- Show me your driving license.
Blonde- What is a driving license?
Policewoman - Something with your face on it.
*Searches bag and pulls out a mirror*
Blonde - Here it is!
*policewoman check it*
Policewoman- Oh I didn't know you were a policewoman as well...

Absolutely Hilarious!!!
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		More Blond Jokes
by: Blade

Blond watching the news.
The reporter says: "9 Brazilian men died".
Blond asks: "How many is a Brazilian?"


Two blonds driving to Disneyland. The one reads the sign "Disneyland Left". So they made a u-turn and went home.


Why do blondes make terrible pharmacists? They can't get the bottles in the printer.

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