Clean Jokes are New Generation Jokes ...
Quick and snappy, WITH-IT and to the point FASTER than you can think!
The other thing about clean, short, funny jokes:
You can use them anywhere with confidence!
HERE WE GO... clap, clap, clap!
"You know Helen, my husband says he knows where woman are made..."
"At FATTIES & MOANIES"
"Do you think he meant we look Italian?"
- Rembrandt painted 700 pictures in his life time and Americans have all 7000 of them.
- I just flew in from New York. Shame, your arms must be tired.
- They say the baby looks like me. They turned him upside down.
- We feed our baby onions so we can find him in the dark at night.
- I was a premature baby. My father wasn't expecting me.
- Our baby was so big when he was born, the doctor was afraid to slap him.
- Our baby swallowed a pin. Luckily it was a safety pin!
- Were there any great men born in this town? No only little babies.
- Is your husband helping you with the baby? Sure, he takes naps for the baby.
- Is the baby a boy or a girl? Of course, what else could it be!
- My bank sent me a letter saying it's the last time they will spend 50 cents to tell me I have 2 cents in my account.
- I would go through many things for you. Let's start with your bank account!
- "The bank has returned your check." "Great. What can we buy with it this time?"
- At her age the only way she'll get 9 men to run after her is to play baseball!
- Do you serve woman at this bar? No sir, you must bring your own.
- I wanted to give you something you need but I didn't know how to wrap up a bath tub.
- My doctor said I must bathe in milk but I couldn't get into the bottle. CLEAN JOKES FAVORITE!
- Drink a glass of milk after a hot bath. No doctor, I don't think I'll have space left.
- Do you call that a bathing suite? It looks like they haven't delivered it yet!
- "I've just come from the beauty salon." He: "Too bad they were closed.
- My wife found a Hair Salon with a recovery room and family counseling.
- My wife does bird imitations. She always watches me like hawk.
- He never forgets his wife's birthday. It's the day the ambulance usually picks him up from work.
- I was born on the 1st of the month, so they called me Bill!
- "When is it your birthday, I would like to get you a present!" "You are way too late. I was born many years ago."
- He stayed up all night studying for his blood test.
- He thought he was clever because his blood test results said A+.
- She waited so long for her ship to come in her pier collapsed.
- Heard about the little tug boat that committed suicide when he discovered that his mom was a tramp and his father was a ferry.
- "Quick operator send an S.O.S!" "How do you spell that?"
- I can't give him a book as a gift. He may already have one.
- I read her like a book, but I keep forgetting my place.
- Some of today's movies are so long, it takes less time to read the book.
- It took me a whole year to write a book. Stupid, you can buy one for $5." CLEAN JOKES FAVORITE!
- Are you an avid reader? No I've never read avid.
- So is your husband a bookworm too? No just an ordinary one.
- Have you ever read a book by Shakespeare? No only by candlelight.
- How did you like my book? It was good but a bit too long in the middle."
- Boxer: "Have I done him any damage?" "No, but keep on swinging the draft might give him a cold."
- If looks could kill a lot of people would die with bridge cards in their hands!
- It's amazing what fine poker hands I get when I play bridge.
- She's been married so many times that wedding bells sound like an alarm clock to her.
- I heard you and Nita aren't dating any more? Yes she began to have bride ideas.
- She walked to the altar so many times, they're trying to make her pay for the carpet.
- The boss said if my work doesn't improve he'll fire me. He can't because I don't do anything!
- I'm not late boss, I just took my coffee break before coming in.
- "Yes, Boss, I'm now saving my coffee breaks. When I have enough together I'm taking Friday off."
Clean jokes are so much fun! Short Clean Jokes are even better!
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