Knowing They're Not Alone
This is a sad "joy" with a HAPPY ending!
She was my companion for 13 years.
Everyday she would shower me with loving kisses.
She was no wimp, tiny as she was, she had the heart of a lion, the presence of Grace Kelly.
When you looked at her, it seemed as if the whole world belonged to ONLY her. She had a look in her big round eyes that said I am of ROYAL descent.
She would not grab or eagerly await food like the rest of HER tribe in our home. She would quietly wait on the staircase landing for us to bring food or treats her way and with a royal wave of the tail acknowledge your effort.
That day when I saved her from hunger and a sure death when she was only about 5 weeks old, was rewarded with 13 years of the purest love, affection and fun that I could have anticipated at the time.
She passed away so quickly it took a year to come to terms with the fact that her presence will no longer bless us with cheeky looks, tight furry hugs in the neck and playful stone rolling on the patio floor. She was here one moment and the next she was gone! I remember her big eyes when the vet tried in vain to save her life. I remember holding her tight in my arms when she gave that last breath and 13 years of joy, pain, laughter and tears shared with me flashed by in an instant.
In her honor I had her cremated and her ashes are still in my home in a beautiful wooden box, where she belongs.
She was a fury, fluffy Pekingese with the softest coat imaginable and the cutest "skew teeth" and overbite worn with pride. She always smiled and you could see it clearly.
A day ago I had the courage to open her ash box for the first time after a year. Inside I found the most beautiful poem.
Why only a day ago?
A day ago my boy's loving grandmother passed away, only 3 weeks after his grandfather. One of the purest loves I've known in my life. They simply had to be together.
Through our sadness and suffering the loss of two awesome people, another little face popped up in my daydreams. It was Sasha, the pekingese! She assured me: they are with me, hey I'm happy to have them, in true Sasha "Queen of my world" style!
Here is the poem I found in Sasha's little wooden ash box:
They say memories are golden
Well, maybe that is true.
I never wanted memories,
I only wanted you.
A million times I needed you,
A million times I cried.
If love alone could have saved you,
You never would have died.
In life I loved you dearly,
In death I love you still.
In my heart you hold a place
No one could ever fill.
If tears could build a stairway
And heartache made a lane.
I'd walk the path to heaven
And bring you back again.
Our family chain is broken,
And nothing seems the same.
But as God calls us one by one,
The chain will link again.
So... what is the joy?
The joy is that however intense the losses in our lives feel; THEY are not alone and the CHAIN will link again.
To everyone who has lost someone dear I just want to let you know, we all do meet up again.