A List of Funny Questions
by Category

A list of funny questions to ask about animals, consumers, earth, education, food, health, legal, people, shopping, sport and time.

list of funny questions about animals

A List of Funny Questions by Category:


  • Why does milk go bad when it is not refrigerated but stays fresh in a cow that is not refrigerated?
  • Why don't woodpeckers get headaches from slamming their faces on trees all day?
  • What are you supposed to do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
  • What color would a chameleon in a room full of mirrors be?
  • Do sheep get static cling when they rub against one another?
  • Why do they call it "getting your dog fixed" if it no longer works afterwards?
  • Do one legged ducks swim in circles?
  • If a Bullterrier is a cross between a Bull dog and a Terrier what would you call a cross between a Bull dog and a Shitsu?
  • Why do we call dogs bitches when cats fit the description better?


  • How can something be "new" and "improved"? What was it improving on if it is new?
  • Do dentists go to other dentists or do they do it themselves?
  • Why do they call steam rollers, steam rollers when there are no steam involved whatsoever?
  • Do Atheists get insurance for acts of God?
  • How does a shelf salesman keep his store from looking empty?
  • If FEDEX an UPS were to merge, would they call it FED UP?
  • If psychic were really psychic, wouldn't they call you first?
  • Do crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
  • If you instruct a cab driver to reverse, would he end up paying you?
  • Why is it called a TOOTHbrush when you brush all of your teeth at the same time?


  • If Pluto had earthquakes what would they be called?
  • If it is true that the world is coming to an end in 2012 according to the Mayan Calender on which planet will the 2020 Olympics be held?
  • How much deeper would the sea be if sponges didn't grow there?
  • What would happen to the sea level if all the boats in the world were taken out at once?
  • If you own a piece of land, do you own it all the way to the centre of the earth?
  • If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
  • If you yell at plants instead of talking to them, would they still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?
  • When you see a heat wave, should you wave back?


  • Is the word "dictionary" in the dictionary?
  • Why is it that we "get into hot water" when we "skate on thin ice"?
  • If there is an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule?
  • If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?
  • If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
  • If a book about failure doesn't sell, is it a success?
  • Is 12-15 years in school really worth it if you can only remember how to read, write, use a calculator and a map?
  • When schools say they are preparing children for the future and highly educated people are of the opinion that the future is looking bleak, what exactly do they prepare for?
  • If you live in a three storey house and you were on the second level, were you upstairs or downstairs?


  • Why is vanilla ice cream white if vanilla extract is brown?
  • Why can't you buy a Hotdog at McDonalds?
  • Why is "never take candy from strangers" not applicable when we celebrate Halloween?
  • Why do they put holes in crackers?
  • If prunes are dehydrated plums, where does prune juice come from?
  • Do cannibals get drunk when they eat drunk people?


  • If a doctor has a heart attack while doing surgery, do the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient?
  • If an ambulance run someone over while on their way to help someone else, do they stop or go?


  • Is it legal to travel in reverse as long as you follow the direction of the traffic?
  • If the only witness says "no" when asked to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, what does the court do?
  • How do you handcuff a one-armed man?


  • Who said: "Quit while you are ahead" if quitters never win and winners never quit?
  • If a compulsive liar tells you he is a compulsive liar do you believe him?
  • Can a short person "talk down" to a taller person?
  • When two men "marry" do they go to the same bachelor party?
  • Why do superheroes wear their underwear on the outside of their clothes?
  • What did the first woman ever to shave her legs use?
  • Does anybody ever vanish with a trace?
  • If people from Poland are called Poles, why don't they call people from Holland Holes?
  • Can't the postman give it to the garbage man and save us the hassle?
  • Why don't black guys get white tattoos?
  • Why do they call it Alcoholics Anonymous meetings when the first thing they do is stand up and say their names.


  • Why don't they make curtains double sided so it looks nice on both sides of your home?
  • Is there ever a week that mattresses are not on sale?
  • If an escalator breaks down, does its name change to stairs?


  • How is the handicapped parking situation handled at the Special Olympics?
  • What would you say to a golfer if you were a golf ball and you could speak?
  • If sports commentators always know better why aren't they on the field?
  • If you look at packed sports stadiums are spectators all the people who wished they could play?
  • Why are all of the most popular sports played with a ball, can't they find/invent something new?


  • Is there a time limit on fortune cookie predictions?
  • Can you daydream at night time?
  • What if you don't have time for a time management course?

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