The Joy of Finding Quality Friends

by Karlien Van Wyk
(Perth, Western Australia)

"Friends" have the ability to keep you busy; "good friends" have the power to make you happy; but "best friends" have the ability to brighten up your day and make you smile, even when you don't want to do much.

Today was an average day. I woke up not feeling great, and I definitely didn't feel loved or like anybody cared about me. I guess you could say I was feeling a bit worthless and down in the dumps. To make things worse, I had to go to through a full day of work in 40 degree celsius weather without air conditioning!

This morning I thought to myself, "Today is just gonna suck. I wish this day could just be over." What else do you think on a day like this? It's certainly not easy being positive when you feel so much negativity in your day.

I jumped in the shower and got ready for the day, sitting on the shower floor for 30 minutes feeling sorry for myself before I got out to get on with life. After sitting there for 20 minutes, I heard a "DING!" coming from my phone and I wondered, "Who on earth would be messaging me, let alone this early in the morning?". I quickly finished washing up and got changed, then proceeded to check my phone.

It was one of my best friends who had sent me a message. I proceeded to unlock my phone thinking, "What could she possibly want at this time of the morning?" (Yes, I know. Such a pessimistic thought to have). I opened up my messenger app on my phone and clicked on her name.

Almost instantly, my eyes started to well up. And I'm not talking about the occasional watery eye. I mean the "unstoppable floods" type of tears pouring out from happiness. I started reading the kind message she had sent me, so full of encouragement, love and kindness. She gushed about all the things that she loves about me and in turn, I gushed about all the things that I love about her.

I re-read her beautiful message (7 paragraphs long might I add!) over and over again every time I felt down or was struggling throughout the day. Without her knowing, she turned my sad face upside down and gave me a smile, the strength, support, love and encouragement to get through the day unscathed.

This is what quality friends are - people who take time out of their day to check in on you, to send you a nice message or to even send you virtual hugs through their phone. Oh, the joys of having quality friends in your life is just next level!

Here are some pointers to look out for when you need some really good friendships in your life:

Positivity: Do they leave you feeling energized or drained?

Support: Are they present during "low" moments, not only during "high" ones?

Openness: Can they be vulnerable and honest about their own lives?

Interaction: Do they take initiative to reach out, or is the effort one-sided?

Engagement: Is there a surprise factor, that indicates effort or do they only engage during times they feel bored and do not have anything better to do?

The rule of thumb with friendships is this:

Quality over quantity.